Over a Year Later: How I've Been

Time flies when you're having fun! It also flies when there aren't any complications/negatives with my foot :) It's been so long since I've updated, and honestly the reason is because there's not much to update on. Everything with my foot has been phenomenal!

I run, I lift weights, I do yoga, I swim, I chase after the two boys I nanny, I walk to and from my classes (over a mile one way) every day, and none of this bothers my foot. Since the toe lays down lower than the rest, I will feel a weird sensation when I roll the ball of my foot with weight on it (like when I stand and roll my foot around). It doesn't hurt though, and really doesn't happen often so it doesn't bother me.

I wear sandals almost all the time, and I don't even think about it when I take off my socks/shoes in front of people. I have noticed that it's still smaller than the toe on my right foot, and at times I'll get a little self-conscious, but no one has ever said anything about it and I always like to remind myself what my foot looked like before the surgery. A couple months ago, my roommate asked me about my surgery. She had to ask what foot and what toe I got the surgery done on because she couldn't tell, and when I pointed out my scar she said, "I didn't even know you had a scar there!" She asked if I had gotten surgery on the toe that was "a little smaller" but she said it because my toe is literally thinner and more petite-looking than my pinky toe, which (as you guys know) is fatter because it's had to bear the weight for so many years. The fact that she couldn't tell which toe/foot it was, and the fact that she had never noticed my scar really gave me the confidence and assurance that others around me see my foot as a normal foot.

Additionally, if any of you are having pain in any of your other toes, I just want to share my experience (I can't remember if I've mentioned this before or not, but either way it's important to know). Before the surgery, I could feel a bunion forming. My big toe had been starting to point inward toward my other toes more, and it gave me almost constant discomfort. There would be times when it felt like muscle cramps up and down my big toe. My doctor thought I was an idiot when I told him I thought my brachymetatarsia was affecting my bunion, but lo and behold I have no more pain in my big toe! The surgery has definitely helped slow/stop the progress of the bunion, which I am so happy about.

I have gotten several emails from people who are going through the surgery and have questions or just wanted to say thank-you for my blog, and it makes me so happy! It's so nice to know that people around the world have found my blog and are reading it to help with their own journey; that was the main point of making a blog in the first place, because when I was planning and preparing for my own surgery, it was the blogs of others before me who had been through the process that really helped calm my nerves and answer my questions.

Like I've said numerous times before, I'm here to help if you have any questions, concerns, or comments. Take care!

Below are current pictures of what my foot looks like. I'll add the before picture just to compare :)

(The scar in the above picture looks way darker on camera than it does in person...don't worry)

Month 7: Back to Normal (For the most part)

It has been so long since I've posted anything! I've successfully made it past the half year mark since my surgery, and I can't explain how happy I am!!!! It's crazy to think that before surgery I never went without wearing socks or hiding my foot around people. I used to have nightmares that I forgot to wear a sock and people were able to look at my brachy toe...fast forward to now and this isn't the case at all. I walk around barefoot with other people around, I don't get anxiety over having to take off my shoes and socks, and I have gotten several pedicures (I never did with the brachy toe...literally never).  So into the details:

• Pain/discomfort: I do not have any swelling anymore. Even after being on my feet all day or going for a run (which I do now!) my foot doesn't swell. As for pain, I have none. I do, however, have discomfort--or as my doctor calls it, "grouchy" feelings. This occurs when it gets cold outside, so I notice it mostly when I wake up and start walking around and also at night. Strangely, I sometimes feel as if my toe/metatarsal is on fire. I don't know how else to describe it, but it feels as if the bone is burning. This doesn't hurt as it only lasts a few seconds, and I think it's kinda cool to be honest! Another source of discomfort is when I'm doing lunges or other exercises which require I put the weight on the balls of my feet, which brings me to my next bullet point.
• Exercise/working out: I have been regularly exercising again! A few weeks ago I went on my first hike, which included steep hills. My foot was surprisingly accepting of the hike, so I also started to go for jogs. My jogs don't go more than 1.5 miles, as I don't want to overdo it. At yesterday's checkup appointment (Jan. 15) my doctor said to be cautious of running on hard surfaces like concrete, but my foot seems to be taking it well. I've also been working out at home with body weight exercises, like squats, lunges, planks, etc. When doing lunges, I can feel my toe popping/cracking...It doesn't hurt so I've kept doing it because I know the toe needs to be stretched. Working out has also showed me how much stronger my right side really is. My left foot in particular is much, much weaker than my right. The muscles literally won't react in the way the muscles in my right foot do. For example, running up stairs on the balls of my feet is difficult on my left foot and it makes me feel weak. However, this is just motivation to keep working out and getting my strength back on my left side!
• Appearance: In terms of the scar, it has lightened up a lot since the last time I took pictures (Day 90: Feeling Good!). However, the toe is still sitting a lot lower than the other toes, and it's pretty noticeable. I think that it has improved over time, and I'm sure that it will gradually improve with more walking and exercising. When I'm sitting or laying down I will gently stretch the toe and metatarsal upwards so it gets used to lying in line with the rest of my toes. I also focus on my lunges and calf raises when exercising because I feel it helps push the toe into line. The appearance of my toe laying down lower than the rest does not bother me all that much; I am just so grateful that it isn't a brachy toe anymore!

I think that's all I have for updates. If you're reading this and have any questions that I didn't answer, ask away!!!

Sorry if this pic looks blurry... but here's my feet! 

 Notice two things: 1) my scar has lightened up a lot, and 2) my toe is lying down more than the rest. It's not as bad as the last time I took pictures though, which shows that it has been improving! 

This is what my foot looks like when I'm weight bearing. It looks normal! Woohoo. 

Day 147 (Week 21): How have I been doing?!

It's been so long since I've posted anything!!! I have a lot to catch up on so here it goes...

• Boot/medical shoe/normal shoes: I upgraded from the big boot to a medical walking shoe around the beginning of October. I preferred wearing the boot because it felt more supportive and people actually could tell I was injured....with the medical shoe it looked like I was a weirdo with mismatched shoes all the time! For the first couple weeks I started wearing the medical shoe my ankle became very stiff, swollen, and painful. It felt as if I had sprained it, but it was really just because my ankle was not used to the increased usage while walking. Towards the end of October, I'd say a week before Halloween, my body started telling me it was time for an upgrade. I started wearing boots (cute fall/winter boots, not the medical boot) since they still offer support but are normal to walk around in. My foot protested a bit, but not too bad. On October 29th I went to the doctor for another checkup and he gave me the all clear to start wearing normal shoes!!! His only rule is that the shoe needs to have some support...his example was that if I was walking "out to a party or to the club" I shouldn't be walking in Uggs (wouldn't do that anyways). Since the appointment I've been wearing normal shoes! Boots, Converse, Toms, and flats have been my shoes of choice ever since. 

• Walking/pain/swelling: The last time I posted, I was still having a hard time walking more than a block without getting really uncomfortable and achy. Even when I was able to wear a medical shoe, I would use my big boot if I were walking more than a couple blocks. In the past week, however, things have been so so so much better! Walking is (dare I say) almost back to normal! I don't limp anymore, I can walk further distances without feeling uncomfortable, and I can stand longer without having the need to sit. My foot does not swell nearly as much as it used to, and when it does swell it's not significant. 

• Doctor's orders: At my appointment on October 29th, my doctor gave me a list of things I could start doing again. I now have the all clear to: go for walks, use the treadmill (only walking, no jogging or running yet), do squats with light weight, use the leg press and other machines as long as I'm not using the ball of my foot (calf raises are a no-no, same with lunges), dance (as long as there's not a lot of jumping and landing), and even go skiing. He said that for the next year or so I will be able to tell when it's going to rain since my foot will start to feel achy, and that the snow, ocean, and cold weather will bother me. I can't jog or run until late November or December. My next checkup with him is in mid-January, and by then he says I should be 100% back to normal! 

• Miscellaneous: If anyone reading has specific questions please please please ask! That's what this blog is here for. So some random things:
• I'm still using scar cream. My scar has gotten lighter, but it's still extremely noticeable. 
• My toe still sits much further down than the rest. I'm hoping that walking with normal shoes will help this...
• No high heels yet. I wore my Steve Madden boots with an inch heel on them to my doctor appointment and he just said to be careful, but nothing higher than that.
• The muscles in my foot have gotten so much stronger ever since wearing normal shoes. I can curl my toes SO much more than I could the past four months. Still not as well as my right foot but it's getting there! 
• I never have pain anymore. At all. The worst thing will be a sore feeling, but all I do is sit down and the feeling goes away.

Again, if anyone has questions feel free to ask. Thanks for reading and I hope my blog has helped anyone looking into the surgery!  :) 

Day 90: Feeling good!

Hello everyone!

It's been over three weeks since I got my pins out, and I have to say that things are going extremely well. I am in a boot, which I have to wear whenever I bear weight. The handicapped placard has come in handy, because the boot was pretty awkward to walk in for the first two weeks. I also get to drive to school (which is two blocks away from my apartment) and park in the metered spots on the street for free and for an unlimited amount of time. It's so nice! When I take showers I have my boot off (obviously) and I just stand with the majority of weight on my right foot. I probably should be using a shower chair still but it doesn't hurt me at all.

The swelling has gone down significantly since having the pins out! At my most recent checkup appointment a week and a half ago, the doctor said that swelling is normal and takes months, not weeks, to go away. With that said, I can go a whole day walking around and being on my foot and the swelling is minimal. Since this is now the case, my doctor says I'll soon be able to go from this huge boot to a medical shoe. He said that for the most part it's really up to me when I feel comfortable switching to the medical shoe, and that I'll know I'm ready when there's little to no swelling or discomfort. And I'm at that point already!!

As you'll all see in the pictures below, my toe is laying down wayyy further than the rest of my toes. This is because my doctor overcorrected the toe when he first did the surgery to make sure it didn't rise up like it was originally. I'm grateful that it's laying down and bearing weight, but it's annoying!! It lays so much lower than the rest of the toes that my other toes barely touch the ground themselves anymore. I think it's going to take some time to get back to normal again. The muscles in all my toes, especially my 4th toe, are really weak and so I'm thinking that's part of the reason why I'm experiencing this. I guess it's a good thing for now though, because the extra weight on my fourth toe will hopefully beef it up a little bit! It's so skinny compared to the rest of my toes right now (hehe).

For some random updates, I started using Mederma scar gel about five days ago. I have been using it once a day every day, so I'm hoping to see some progress within the coming month(s). Patience is key for this! Also, I went home to visit my family last weekend and my mom took me to get a PEDICURE!!! It was my first pedicure since I was TEN YEARS OLD. So basically my first real pedicure in a decade. I can't even explain how excited I was/still am!!! The lady went extremely gentle on my left foot, so there was absolutely no discomfort at all. My left foot is SOO much more sensitive than my right foot, so when she scrubbed my left foot I nearly fell off the chair it tickled so much :p

 The boot! 

 It's the same length! So pretty!

 It likes to hide behind the third toe...and there's the scar! Not too bad.

Perspective of just how low it sits compared to the rest. Ridiculous!

Day 67: Pins Come Out!!!

Disregard the fact that I'm writing day 67 a couple days late...I felt exhausted the day of surgery and yesterday I moved back to college so I couldn't really find a good time to blog! So anyways....

My pins are out!!! WOOHOO! My mother and I left our home at 5 am to arrive at the Kaiser hospital at 5:40 am. I signed in and we waited to be called back into pre-op. About fifteen minutes later we were called back, and I got undressed and changed into my hospital gown. The nurse helping me was really nice and asked a few pre-surgery questions while another nurse put an IV in my hand (which is still a little sore might I add!). The main nurse also gave me an anti-nausea pill to take, and later gave me an anti-nausea patch behind my ear because they knew I felt very nauseous and threw up a few times after my first surgery. By the time the nurses were all done asking their questions and prepping me, it was only 6:30...I had to wait until 8 to go to surgery! My mom and I just relaxed until then. Finally, one of the residents who would be watching (and maybe assisting) my surgery and also the anesthesiologist came over to answer any questions I had. After this, a nurse wheeled me on my bed to the OR.

Once in the OR, my doctor/surgeon briefly answered my questions and then I transferred beds and was given oxygen. That's the last thing I remember before waking up in recovery! By the way, the surgery was ridiculously short...I remember looking at the clock in the OR and it being somewhere around 8 am, and when I woke up in recovery it was only 8:30!

Even the recovery period was relatively short. A man came in and took x-rays of my foot (which I barely remember cause I had just woken up), and another nurse sat near me asking how I was feeling and mainly just monitoring my vital signs. I guess my vitals were all really good, because the nurse called someone and described how "abnormally well" I was doing, and so they moved me into a different recovery room. The entire time I was in recovery, I felt absolutely no pain. I didn't need any pain killers until I was home, and even then I took a pain pill more for precaution rather than because it was really starting to hurt. I stayed in recovery from about 8:30-10:00 am. My mom came back and got to see me, and that's basically my second surgery experience!

So how am I feeling now that surgery is over? For starters, my foot is bandaged up again so I can't see the pin holes, and I was given a large black boot to wear at all times until my next checkup appointment in a week and a half. When I walk I occasionally get a dull shooting pain in my toe where the pins were. I've only taken three pain pills since the surgery, which is about one per day so far! The day that I came back from surgery, I rested all day and had my foot propped up with ice packs. The day after surgery was move in day so I didn't really get to rest...but not that I needed to! After moving a few things up and down stairs to my apartment (my friends moved most the stuff since I am not technically supposed to carry anything) I still felt no pain! The fact that I was able to move all my stuff in and organize the day after surgery is pretty amazing to me.

Sadly, I did throw up last night....I'm guessing it was because I had taken a pain pill, and they make me nauseous if I don't eat right around the time I take the pill. I feel fine now though! Another yucky thing is that I'm back to taking showers with my shower chair and a trash bag duct taped around my leg. I can't take this bandage off and it can't get wet, so my showers are gonna be a pain for awhile again.

All in all, I am so happy with my results and the timeline of everything! I never thought it would only take 67 days from start to finish. Of course there is still the healing of the pin sites and me having to slowly get my strength back, but I am just glad my ex fix was removed before school/work started again. I would totally recommend anyone thinking about this surgery to go for it! Even though my foot still looks gruesome (for now at least), I have so much more confidence than I did before this whole experience.

This is what my foot looked like a few days after removing the pins. I had to push the toe up because it was laying so low in this picture!

Day 66: Quick Update

This is a quick update of how I've been since day 53, which was my last appointment with the doctor. I'm writing this partly because some things have changed, but also because I get my pins taken out TOMORROW!

Since my last post, I've made a lot of progress. For about the past week, I have been completely off my crutches. I went grocery shopping by myself a couple days ago without crutches, and I've been packing and moving all my stuff to go back to college without crutches. I do walk with a limp because the pins holding down my toe are keeping me from moving my foot the whole range of motion. My foot gets swollen a lot faster now since I'm walking a lot, but it doesn't bother me too much. I don't have any pain, it's more of an uncomfortable feeling. With this huge increase in walking, the circulation in my foot is back to normal! I mentioned in one of my previous blog posts that my foot would turn a weird purple-ish color when I had my foot down on the ground, but this problem has vanished.

I've also noticed that since I've been off crutches, my toe has been sitting down lower and lower (as you can see from the previous three pictures on Day 53). I'm hoping that this problem disappears once the ex fix is off, because my other toes are having a hard time touching the ground now! It's like the complete opposite of my problem before I had the surgery. The other toes are getting a little stiff since they aren't doing their job of supporting my weight when walking, so I have to move them back and forth in my hand to make sure they don't get more stiff.

My surgery is tomorrow at 5:40 in the morning!!! This means I have to leave my house at about 5 am. I'll be my surgeon's first patient of the day, and the procedure should take less than an hour. I'll be asleep for the procedure, which I'm not that fond of...but oh well, not a big deal to me. I just want these pins out of my foot already! I'm extremely excited.

I'll make another post tomorrow afternoon/evening about how the surgery went. Wish me luck/pray for me! :)))

Day 53: Checkup Appointment

I'm posting this blog a couple days after the actual appointment, sorry about the delay!

Anyways, this appointment went AMAZING. As usual, I got X-rays taken first, and then I waited for the doctor to see me. He pulled my X-ray up on the computer and I cannot believe what I saw....a perfect parabola of my metatarsals! My brachy bone looks completely normal now!!! My toe is still short though since it's a 'hypoplastic toe,' but it looks much more normal than before! I wish I had gotten a print-out of my X-ray to put on the blog, but I'll ask for one at the next appointment.

Speaking of next appointment, the purpose of it is to take out my pins!!! The majority of the conversation between my doctor and I at today's appointment was about how well I healed. He said that out of all the patients he's done this procedure on, I by far was the best in terms of taking this procedure without complications. He called me a "textbook procedure" because it went that perfectly. Best news ever! Since my bone regenerate looks awesome and I've been in consolidation phase, my doctor says that I could get the pins out in one to two weeks, all depending on when we can schedule a trip to the OR. I did kind of want to get the pins out in his office without having to go back to the OR, but he feels safer and more confident with it that way. I'm not complaining though, I'm just so excited that this whole process went by without delays or complications!! I don't know how I got so lucky.

On another note, I have been doing really well with walking on my foot. I can now walk without my crutches for little things like going to the bathroom, getting something out of the fridge, etc. I no longer use my shower chair, as I am starting to stand up on my own in the shower (which gets uncomfortable by the end because my foot gets really red and swollen from standing so long, but it's manageable). Even when I'm out of the house running errands or something, I make sure that I'm putting weight on my foot when I walk as opposed to letting the crutches do all the work. It gets uncomfortable, but I have to push myself and make sure that my foot is getting used to walking again.

As you can see in these photos, my toe is starting to sit way below all the other toes. When I walk I feel that toe touch the ground more than any other toe, and I think the more I walk on it the lower it sits. I'm hoping that when I get my pins out (which is tomorrow! I'm writing this on 8/15) my toe will sit in line normally with the rest.